#119. More Than a Judge
What I Learned From Judge Frank Caprio
Welcome to the blog post #119! Click here to read more from previous posts.
How could an 88‑year‑old man gain over 25 million followers on social media without dancing, doing tricks, or following any trend?
That man is Judge Frank Caprio. He was also the first generation in his family going to college.
Last week, I had a short break and spent some time watching Judge Caprio’s interviews and speeches. I quickly saw why so many people follow him. It’s not because of any viral trick, but because of something we don’t often see: genuine compassion, kindness, and understanding, shown right from his courtroom.
In a world where kindness sounds like a cliché, here is a man who lives it.
In a world full of disputes, here is someone who puts himself in others’ shoes.
In a world where nice words are not always matched by actions, here is someone who quietly does the kind thing every day.
It made me pause and think.
We often talk about innovation, disruption, and the future of humanity. But how often do we ask: without kindness, what are we building all that for?
Watching his life and work reminded me how easily we overlook these simple values when our attention is pulled toward bigger topics. Yet at the heart of life and society, kindness is what matters most.
Far beyond the courtroom, his story carries lessons we can take into our work, our leadership, and our own lives.
Here are a few reflections I took away from his story as the Chief Judge of Providence and from his own fight against cancer:
Your position is for service, not superiority
People don’t remember you for your title—they remember you for how you made them feel.
As a judge, Frank Caprio knew his authority could either crush or lift someone. He chose to lift. He gave people second chances, listened to their stories, and treated them with dignity.
Kindness is what makes us human
If a judge only applied cold rules, how different would he be from AI?
Caprio didn’t just wear a badge—he wore his heart. He led with moral philosophy, not just legal philosophy. His values came from home, from parents who taught him empathy, fairness, and common sense.
Lead by example
We can’t offer what we don’t have—kindness, patience, or wisdom. If we want to inspire others, we have to embody those qualities first. Watching Judge Caprio reminds me that leadership starts from within.
One act of kindness outweighs a thousand words
It’s easy to say kind words. It’s harder to take kind actions. He has lived by action. A story that touched me deeply was from his father, a milkman:
The company’s policy said, if someone hasn’t paid their milk bill after two weeks, stop delivering.
But his father had his own policy: if they have children, keep delivering, no matter how far behind they are.
And often, his father would quietly pay a part of their bill himself. It was not because he was rich, but just because he had compassion for people in tough times.
That’s not just applying the rule blindly—it’s head, heart, hunch, and hands working all together.
Moral compass is built in childhood and lasts a lifetime
Judge Caprio often spoke about his parents’ influence. His father once told him he’d make a good lawyer—one who brings justice and fairness to the poor. Those words shaped his life.
“My father was not educated, but he had the soul of a poet… I wasn’t told how to be moral. I learned by watching others. Most importantly, the fine examples set by my mother and father.”
Leave the ladder down for others to follow
When speaking to graduates, Judge Caprio shared, “Leave the ladder down for others to follow.”
Success isn’t about climbing higher alone. It’s about making sure others can rise with you.
“Giving up” is not an option
His fight against pancreatic cancer is another lesson. He didn’t hide from it. He accepted it, fought for his life, prayed more, stayed close to those he loved, and reflected deeply on his journey. Even in pain, he chose to be an example of courage and grace.
If life is a book, at the end, what will our book say?
Caprio’s words in his commencement speech still echo in my mind:
“We will be judged not by how much we earn but how much we care.
We will be judged not by how much we take but by how much we give.
We will be judged not by the dreams we made come true for ourselves but by the dreams we made come true for others.”
And maybe his simplest wisdom says it all:
“A good life is being a good family person and having good friends. That’s all there is. We’re all in the same boat together.”
As I watched him speak, I kept asking myself:
How am I using my position to lift someone?
What act of kindness can I turn into a habit?
How can I leave the ladder down for someone else?
Judge Frank Caprio reminded me that the most enduring impact we leave isn’t in titles, metrics, or achievements.
It’s in how we care, how we act, and how we lift others—quietly, consistently, every single day.
That’s all for today. Till next week!
Cheers,
Do Thi Dieu Thuong