#113. The Ugly Duckling In Each of Us
When You Feel Out of Place, You’re Not Alone
Welcome to the blog post #113! Click here to read more from previous posts.
As a child, I was enchanted by fairy tales, from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen to Greek myths and Vietnamese legends. These stories filled my imagination with wonder.
But as I grew older, I set them aside in favor of more “serious” reading. Fairy tales seemed too simple for adult life.
Just last week, I happened to pick up a book from my kids’ shelf. It was a biography of Hans Christian Andersen - someone I knew only as a gifted storyteller. But what surprised me wasn’t his talent - it was the hardship, rejection, and loneliness he had to endure before the world recognized his light.
The more I read, the more I saw how his life mirrored the very stories he wrote. I found myself going back to The Ugly Duckling - a tale I once read as a child, now rediscovered with adult eyes. This time, it hit differently.
Andersen’s Life: The Image of The Ugly Duckling
Behind Andersen’s rich imagination was a life marked by poverty and pain. Born to a shoemaker and washerwoman, he had no formal education and grew up feeling like an outsider.
At just 14, he left home and moved to Copenhagen to pursue his dream of performing. He had a beautiful voice and passion for the arts, but his appearance, rural accent, and awkward manners made him an easy target for ridicule.
When he turned to writing, the rejection didn’t stop. His early works were mocked for their grammar and style. Even as he began to gain recognition, he remained self-conscious, feeling socially isolated and out of place in elite literary circles.
Yet through it all, he persisted.
Andersen poured his soul into his stories. He didn’t write to impress. He wrote to express. That’s what made his tales resonate across generations.
By the end of his life, he was celebrated by kings and emperors across Europe. His works were translated into many languages and reached millions of hearts, including mine.
And just like the duckling in his story, he didn’t find success by pretending to be a swan. He became one by staying true to who he was.
When you have the will, a path will appear. And when you're ready, a teacher will come. Andersen’s life proved that.
The Ugly Duckling In Each of Us
When I reread The Ugly Duckling, I didn’t just see Andersen - I saw myself.
I remembered the early days of my career, surrounded by more experienced, confident colleagues. I felt invisible. I questioned if I truly belonged. That same feeling - the fear of being “not good enough” - often visits, especially when stepping into new roles or challenges.
But I know I’m not alone in this. We’ve all felt like the duckling at some point - on the outside looking in, unsure of who we are or where we fit.
The difference is what we choose to do with those feelings. Some stay stuck, believing they’re not enough. Others keep growing, even when the world doesn’t yet see who they are becoming.
The “swan” is not born - it’s revealed through the process.
My Reflection from The Ugly Duckling
Now, with a little more life experience behind me, I reflect on this story, and here are my takeaways:
Growth begins in discomfort
The ugly duckling felt like he didn’t belong. He felt like an impostor in his flock. So do we when we doubt our worth or fear we’re not good enough. That discomfort isn’t a sign of weakness - it’s a signal that we’re stretching.
Every time I’ve taken on a new role it doing something new, that feeling returned. And yet, each time, it helped me grow into someone I didn’t know I could be.
Discomfort means you're moving. And movement is how we grow.
Difference is not a flaw - It’s a clue to Authenticity
The duckling was excluded for being different. So are we - sometimes for our backgrounds, beliefs, accents, appearances, or mindsets.
But difference isn’t a weakness. It’s a starting point for originality. It’s what makes your contribution irreplaceable.
Being different may feel lonely at first, but it’s often where the most meaningful paths begin.
Rejection doesn’t define you - unless you let it
After repeated rejection, the duckling nearly accepted a false identity. That’s what happens when criticism becomes internalized and turns into self-doubt.
But rejection only has power if we believe in it.
Or you can think it this way: If you haven’t found your place yet, maybe you’re just looking in the wrong pond.
Kindness can be a lifeline
The duckling’s life changed not only because he grew, but because the swans accepted him. They didn’t mock him - they welcomed him.
Sometimes, the smallest act of kindness can rescue someone from silent suffering.
What’s nothing to you might be everything to someone else.
So offer kindness freely. You never know who might need it - one day, it might be you.
Self-reflection is the turning point
The moment the duckling saw his reflection, everything changed. He didn’t need new wings—he needed a new perspective.
That’s often true for us, too. Growth doesn’t always require a new environment—it requires new eyes.
Self-awareness opens the door. Self-reflection gives you the key. And courage leads you through it.
Final Thought: Becoming the Swan
The Ugly Duckling is not just a tale of outer change. It’s a story about discovering what was always inside. The swan was never far - it was just waiting to be seen.
So many of us carry gifts, talents, and potential that go unnoticed - not only by others, but by ourselves.
The transformation doesn’t happen when others accept you. It happens when you accept yourself.
It’s not an easy journey. But it’s the one that leads us home - to who we really are.
That’s all for today. Till next week!
Cheers,
Do Thi Dieu Thuong