#102. The Invisible Ropes Holding Your Life
How to Break Free from a Victim Mindset
Welcome to the blog post #102! Click here to read more from previous posts.
Last night, as I was tucking my kids into bed, they excitedly shared a story they had watched on YouTube. It was about an elephant tied with just a thin rope around its leg. The elephant could easily break free, but it never even tried.
Curious, I asked them why. My daughter explained that when the elephant was young, it wasn’t strong enough to break free. Over time, even as it grew into a powerful animal, it never questioned the rope. It had learned helplessness—an invisible chain stronger than any physical restraint.
That story stayed with me. How many of us are like that elephant, unknowingly held back by invisible ropes?
These ropes come in many forms—limiting beliefs, fears, and excuses—that trap us in a victim mindset. This mindset convinces us that our circumstances are beyond our control, leaving us feeling powerless. And when we believe we’re powerless, we stop trying.
But the truth is: The ropes that bind us are not real. They only exist in our minds. We can break free—if we choose to.
What Are the Ropes Holding Us Back?
The elephant’s real restraint wasn’t the rope itself, but the belief that it couldn’t escape. Likewise, our own limitations often stem from beliefs we’ve accepted as unchangeable truths. Here are some of the most common invisible ropes that keep us trapped:
1. The Rope of Limiting Beliefs
“I’m not good enough.”
We tell ourselves we lack talent, intelligence, or resources, so we don’t even try. But what if we’re wrong? What if our only real limitation is our unwillingness to challenge this belief?
2. The Rope of Past Failures
“I failed before, so I’ll fail again.”
Past failures can haunt us, making us believe we’re destined to repeat them. But failure is a lesson, not a prophecy. Every success story is built on lessons learned from setbacks.
3. The Rope of External Validation
“What if I fail? What will people think?”
We often prioritize others’ opinions over our own growth. The fear of judgment keeps us from taking risks. But in reality, people think about us far less than we imagine.
4. The Rope of Comfort & Routine
“It’s safer to stick with what I know.”
Routine can feel secure, but it can also become a cage. Growth requires discomfort—stepping beyond the familiar to discover what we’re truly capable of.
5. The Rope of Excuses
“It’s not my fault.”
Blaming circumstances, luck, or other people for our setbacks feels easier than taking responsibility. But personal growth starts when we own our actions and choices.
6. The Rope of Learned Helplessness
“Nothing I do will make a difference.”
When we believe we’re powerless, we don’t even attempt to change things. But history is full of individuals who reshaped the world simply because they refused to accept limitations.
I see these ropes in myself. Do you see them in you?
How to Break Free from These Ropes
No one wants to be the human version of the elephant in this story. The first step to breaking free is awareness—recognizing the ropes that are restraining us. Honest self-reflection is key, and seeking feedback from those who know us well can help us identify blind spots.
Let me share a personal story. For years, I believed I wasn’t good with numbers. Because of this, I avoided finance-related topics, convinced that investing wasn’t for me. I told myself it was better to stay away than risk losing money.
Then one day, a turning point came. I challenged my belief: Is it really true that I’m not capable of investing? Or do I simply not know how?
The reality was, I had never even given myself the chance to learn. My fear had paralyzed me before I could take a step. Recognizing this, I made a shift—I asked myself, What if I could do it? Why not try?
This mindset shift transformed everything. I enrolled in an investing course taught by Adam Khoo in 2018. That class changed my perception, showing me that financial investing wasn’t beyond my grasp. It was simply something I hadn’t learned yet. This small step led to a huge mindset shift, opening doors to new opportunities that I never imagined before.
That experience taught me that the biggest rope holding us back is often the one we place on ourselves. Once I broke free from that limiting belief, I realized that growth was always within reach—I just had to take the first step.
Your Turn: What Rope Will You Cut Today?
What if the only thing stopping you is a rope that isn’t even real? What would you do differently today?
Take a moment to reflect: Which rope is holding you back, and how will you start breaking free?
You own your answers and actions.
Till next time!
Cheers,
Do Thi Dieu Thuong